Current mood:	indescribable
Current music:	Sufjan Stevens - Jacksonville

The start of a blackout, I hope not.
I'm writing in this ( http://www.greatestjournal.com/~chaosbydesign ) journal because of Jen. (I suppose a bit because of Andrew as well.) This one in particular. I suppose I might as well cross-post it to my livejournal, because there's not much sense having it on this one and not on the other one. The idea of writing in this stems from the fact that not everybody really knows other people as well as they think they do. People have to see all sides of a person before they can really say that they truly know them and the way they think. I think that seeing how people write about their life and thoughts really helps a person to be understood a lot better by those around them, so I'm going to try to write in this throughout my free period (from now until March). I'm not promising in any way that I'll always be in the right state of mind to write, but I'll try my best.

It's strange though how I actually want to do this, because I don't feel in any way comfortable writing about what my life is really about, or what I really think. In the conversation I had last night with Jen, I was talking about how if people are too blunt about what they really think or do, it often makes them seem moronic just because of how precisely they cite what they do with their lives. If they disclose their jealous thoughts, their irrational ones, their shameful actions. I'm not sure why it has to be that way, because everybody makes mistakes and has dumb thoughts, quite often probably. But people who write about it and seem totally fine with it have always eluded me.

I guess that everything starts somewhere, so I might as well disclose one thing: Almost everything I find interesting about my life has to do with other people and their actions. I'm not sure if most people would guess that about me, but it's true. It's not that I don't do anything by myself, but I often find myself pondering about why other people do the things they do, my relationships with those surrounding my life, and problems to solve involving them. I have set plans for myself, but often I revolve them around other people. The strange thing though, is that I don't even necessarily like most people. A lot of people I meet are nowhere near being on the same wavelength I am, and this makes it somewhat difficult to make good friends. But I'm talking about the people who I am good friends with, or anybody that affects me significantly... directly, or indirectly.

I'm not sure how to go about writing about them though, because I'm not sure if I would upset them by writing certain things, or if I would let something personal of theirs slip. I guess that I'll have to do lots of consulting before writing stuff. :p

Nothing to write about this day in particular; this entry has served to just be an opener, perhaps.